Domestic violence

Impact on children and young people

Being in a household where there is domestic violence is distressing and scary for children and young people. They may hear violent or controlling arguments; they may witness violence directly; they may feel powerless to protect a carer.

They are likely to be well aware of their parent or carer’s distress and injuries after an incident. They may also get hurt themselves.

Domestic violence is characterised as an adverse childhood experience (ACE). ACEs are a significant cause of long-term problems for children’s mental health and physical health. Effects can be traumatising and long lasting and can have an impact on: 

• children and young people’s understanding of normal or acceptable relationships with others and their ability to form relationships in school and beyond
• their emotional wellbeing: increased anxiety, fear and stress levels
• their ability to learn
• their view of the family and the broader community and society
• levels of aggressive and anti-social behaviour. 

What schools and further education settings can do

How children and young people respond to domestic violence will differ, depending on many factors including their age, sex and stage of development. How they react will also be influenced by the support they receive and their ability to be resilient and move forward after such adversities.

If pupils are known to be experiencing family violence:

• Talk to your designated safeguarding lead (DSL).
• Where possible, work in partnership with the non-abusing parent to support the child and encourage the parent to seek help too.
• Be aware of practicalities:
  • Homework clubs can give children affected by domestic violence a safe place to do their work.
  • Know what support there is locally for parents/carers affected by domestic abuse.
  • A buddy system in school/college can help induct new pupils who have moved after being affected by domestic violence.
  • Be aware of managing risk – don’t send communications home that may put parents and families at risk.
• Some teaching resources also specifically seek to reduce the likelihood of children becoming victims or perpetrators of domestic violence, through challenging stereotypes and unhealthy gender power dynamics, helping them form healthy relationships and resolve conflict. These themes should be embedded in the whole-school ethos and should be picked up in health and wellbeing education lessons.
• Work on anti-bullying can usefully include a focus for children on effective problem-solving and resolving disagreements.
• An environment where staff demonstrate effective conflict management, and use restorative approaches when conflict arises, can help children avoid repeating family patterns of behaviour. Find out more about restorative practice in education settings.
• Positive relationships in the setting that are built on trust, safety and security, promote pupil wellbeing and help children and young people talk about worries that might be affecting them.
• Schools and colleges can be important places to help parents get the support they need to make changes, so that they, in turn, can help their children. Staff should try and engage with parents/carers whenever they can and be a potential source of help, signposting them to appropriate support. We also have advice about how to open up a conversation with a parent or carer.
• Some children and young people will need a extra help, either through school pastoral care/counselling support or through referral to the school nurse, national helplines or community-based support (e.g early help services, local voluntary sector support or specialist CAMHS).