Bereavement and grief

Traumatic bereavement

In a traumatic bereavement, how the child of the young person experiences or understands the death – the meaning they make of it – results in it being experienced as traumatic. 

Rather than the intensity of their feelings reducing, a child or young person who has experienced a traumatic bereavement may continue to struggle with overwhelming emotions that impact on day-to-day life.

A child or young person can experience traumatic bereavement at any age, and any type of death can result in a traumatic bereavement. 

There are many factors which may make a bereavement more likely to be traumatic, including:

• Neglect or abuse
• Domestic or community violence
• Loss of birth family
• Poverty and deprivation
• War or displacement
• Neurodevelopmental or learning difficulties

Identifying the signs of traumatic bereavement

When a child or young person experiences the death of someone significant it is likely to be difficult – but it won’t necessarily be traumatic.

Children and young people, like adults, can experience a broad range of emotions when grieving. Although they can be intense and difficult to manage at times, typically the emotions do not impact everyday life persistently.

If the emotions do impact the child or young person’s everyday life, they may be experiencing traumatic bereavement. School staff may notice a student:

• becoming withdrawn and isolating themselves from others
• not participating in activities they used to enjoy
• struggling to concentrate in class
• having angry outbursts and shouting
• feeling hopeless and not believing things will get better
• increasing risk taking behaviours, like using drugs or alcohol or self-harming

These difficulties are likely to be persistent, frequent, severe and a change to the child or young person’s usual behaviour. 

It is also important to consider the child or young person’s response to death in the context of their family culture, belief system and developmental stage.